So who is living in your head or in your heart – rent free?
Or, to put it another way, who have you decided “NOT to forgive?”
Who are you “still” holding a grudge or grudges against?
You know grudges can run very deep, but they also have a way of resurfacing every now and then. Some people hold on to – and live with their grudges – for a very long time…too long. Years and years and even decades and decades…
You know forgiveness is “optional,” it is a “choice”…but according to Dr. Jesus – it should be “mandatory” for all people.
I have read literally hundreds and hundreds of pages on forgiveness, including papers done by the Mayo Clinic Staff and other hospitals.
The first thing I realized is that we can only be hurt by people we care about. If we didn’t care about them at all – at some point we would not allow them into our heads much less into our hearts. Their words or deeds would not be so stinging. They would not carry so much weight.
There is “this choice.” This option that is available to us and for us…it is called forgiveness!
When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to the anger, resentment and thoughts of getting even or revenge or you can embrace forgiveness and move on…
Nearly all of us have been hurt by the “actions” or the “words” of another. Sometimes our skin can be very thin…very thin, indeed. Our wounds can leave us with lasting feelings of anger and bitterness…and even vengeance.
Those “in the know” are saying – if you do not practice forgiveness – chances are good that “YOU might be the one” to pay most dearly for it.
Again, for the record, Dr. Jesus says that forgiveness should be unlimited…that 77 times thingy…
What I am talking about is “kind of icky”…things like feelings of resentment, rage, wrath, revenge, retaliation, retribution…nice, I know…
These things are not good…they are all together icky…
Forgiveness doesn’t “deny” the other person’s responsibility for hurting you and it never “minimizes or justifies” the wrong. You can forgive the person without “excusing the act.”
Forgiveness probably should not be immediate, or done in haste, we all move towards forgiveness at our own pace.
Forgiveness does not mean “forgetting.” Forgetting is something else again…
Quoting the Mayo Clinic: “Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. Forgiveness “can lead to:”
• Healthier relationships
• Greater spiritual and psychological well being
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility
• The lowering of blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• A stronger immune system
• Improved heart health and
• Higher self-esteem
Sometimes we react so quickly and so immediately…maybe too quickly…
And then, we dwell, boy can we ever dwell on something when we want to!
It has also been said that forgiveness doesn’t come naturally. It is something you have to work on…and like healings of the mind and heart, they take time…they occur gradually and in an unhurried fashion.
Forgiveness never guarantees reconciliation….and maybe reconciliation is not even sought after.
Forgiveness can never be forced.
Life would be so much better if we all treated each other with compassion, empathy and respect.
The rabbi’s of old taught that you had to forgive someone three times. Three times for emphasis…three times so you do not forget. Three times was considered to be a whole-lot-of-forgiveness.
So when my old buddy, Peter suggested seven times – he had really upped the ante.
Seven being the number of wholeness, seven being the number of perfection…Peter was pretty pleased with himself.
What he didn’t expect was for Dr. Jesus to come back with 77 times. That was outrageous, that was outlandish, that was unheard of…it was astronomical.
Who forgives someone 77 times…or even 490 times for that matter?
And the answer should be obvious, God does…do you know “how many times” he has forgiven you this week? How many times he has forgiven you so far in your lifetime?
Now shouldn’t you do the same to others?