Mary was betrothed to Joseph, a semi-skilled material worker in the small Galilean hamlet of Nazareth.
He was much older than she.
Customs and status set the guidelines for all such arrangements. Parents or grandparents arranged marriage for their children.
It was always a social arrangement and agreement. It was never about love or happiness…or about attraction. It was meant to be a binding agreement…between two families. …Often times even involving the entire village.
There was one little tiny problem…post agreement…naturally…
Mary was with child.
There was a bun in the oven.
It presented a huge problem. Now what?
Certainly they were not the first couple to find themselves in such a predicament. It must have happened prior to this…as well as…after them …to some other engaged couples.
So Joseph had some decisions to make: Life altering, life changing decisions…
You do realize, he is considered to be a righteous human man… because of the decisions he made. He made the tough calls.
He thought about the consequences. Decisions have consequences. Sometimes far reaching consequences. He did not only think of himself, he thought of “others” as well.
Decisions sometimes have rippling effects. They need to be thought out and sorted out thoroughly.
The story about the birth of Jesus is a story of compassion… and it is a story of grace.
It is the story of a man in a unique position and situation.
The one single line – “Joseph was unwilling to expose her to public disgrace and put her to shame” – speaks volumes about the man…and about how he himself was raised.
It allows us to focus on Joseph.
Joseph did not want to hurt Mary.
He did not want to destroy her.
He did not seek her death…which could have been a very real possibility. “Honor killings” they call them. In many Middle Eastern cultures, the killing of a relative, but especially a girl or woman, who was or is perceived to have brought dishonor or shame to her family or village could be put to death. It could be carried out by anyone…Joseph included. The method used was stoning to death.
Except for, Joseph was not punitive.
He was not a revengeful human being.
He wasn’t out for his “pound of flesh.”
Joseph thought things through…carefully…and deliberately.
Mary was pregnant. Ok.
Joseph was not the father. He knew that.
This is a story about sensitivity and kindness…and Joseph is a kind man.
So, Joseph decided to divorce Mary QUIETLY. He would not tell her parents. He would not tell his parents. He would definitely not tell the village Rabbi or any of the village elders.
Maybe he would even go away for awhile and leave the village all together. Perhaps he might even take Mary with him. Everything needed to be put on the table. Everything was a consideration.
Joseph knew he had to be careful… Simply cut your losses and walk away. In doing so, there would be no public embarrassment…no public outcry or embarrassment for anyone. He vowed not to punish Mary. He did not want her to be disgraced…and shamed or worse yet, to be put to death.
Mary’s fate lie in Joseph’s hands, and he was well aware of it.
But then, the primary purpose of this story is not to tell us that Joseph is religious or that he is righteous.
The primary purpose of the story is to tell us that Joseph is not the biological father of Jesus. Joseph you ARE NOT the father!
But at the very same time, the story goes on … out of its way … to tell us that Joseph does “assumes the responsibility” of being Jesus’ legal father. He was an adoptive parent.
He steps up. He does what is necessary.
He is not afraid to change his mind.
He is open to advice.
Joseph makes the decision to remain with Mary, to stand by her, to support her and to not send her away or to take off and leave by himself. Sometimes there is no running away.
Decisions have to be made…life altering decisions…and Joseph committed himself to staying.