09222021 – Mark 9. 30-37
Most preachers don’t tell you this, but a squabble over “honor and status” WOULD BE TYPICAL within ANY ancient Mediterranean GROUPING. TYPICAL!
It was actually a “DAILY kind of occurrence.”
WE tend to be aghast, surprised, and startled…that the disciples of Jesus would argue and “carry-on among themselves.”
It seems so BENEATH them.
It seems SO US! So HUMAN!
And a lot of people tend to think about the twelve as being “holy men.” When in fact, they were just like us! Exactly like us.
There are also those who are stunned, shocked, and appalled, that such “dirty laundry” would even be aired in the Holy Scriptures. Why would the evangelists record the fact that THEY ARGUED AMONG THEMSELVES?
Almost as if, it was somehow BENEATH the disciples of Jesus.
WHEN in all actuality…
It was TYPICAL. Common. Ordinary.
It was to be expected. It was NORMAL. It “was,” WHAT THEY DID.
“Conflict and arguments” are often seen as a NEGATIVE and as things to be avoided-at-all-costs.
SOMETIMES they got HEATED and sometimes, they DID NOT.
No big deal, they were all friends…in the end…the way…it should be…
Unfortunately, many people see CONFLICT as reflective of a “CRACK” in a relationship or a SIGN that any kind of relationship is in deep-deep-trouble.
That is NOT necessarily true.
And indeed, the OPPOSITE just maybe the case.
Argumentation may be seen as “a sign of HEALTH.”
Research suggests that the process of conflict and arguing “facilitates talk,” and further discussion, also the “awareness of another’s perspective.”
We KNOW where they stand.
We know what THEY VALUE AND HOLD DEAR!
We may even KNOW the reason for some of their actions.
It may indeed be a POSITIVE, and NOT a negative, as is so often thought…or suggested.
It is IMPORTANT to keep in mind that “conflict and arguing” can be BENEFICIAL to the health of friendships and to ALL relationships.
We will not always AGREE.
We will be of different OPINIONS.
WE DO NOT live in each other’s heads.
In particular, facing the need to argue with a person “you consider to be close” can be ENERGIZING and MOTIVATING—the topics that bring about arguments remind us of WHAT is important TO US, from our CORE VALUES to our PASSIONS.
If we don’t care about something…we don’t argue about it. It is not on our radar. It is not important to us, so why bother…
We ARGUE about that which is important to us, even if it may seem PETTY.
Arguments also give us THE OPPORTUNITY to think about and to voice HOW WE FEEL about our relationship and “WHO WE ARE” as friends…or as coworkers or as family members or as spouses.
Often times HONESTY comes OUT with these kinds of discussions.
An important part of effectively managing arguments and discussions is to TAKE TIME to think about and appreciate another person’s perspective.
No matter what YOUR assumptions, it is important to STOP AND THINK about YOUR needs, the OTHER PERSONS’ needs, and what YOU NEED TOGETHER to keep your relationship alive, strong, and growing…and functioning properly.
So, the disciples argued and bickered. Big deal. No big whoop!
What I really like and appreciate, is that Jesus asks them what they were DISCUSSING on the road.
DISCUSSING…not arguing about…he knew it had to happen, sooner or later.
He knew it would take place.
“People are going to position themselves.” Let ‘em have at it.
Let them work it out. Let them deal with it. It is, after all, THEIR STUFF.
Jesus knew that once the PECKING ORDER was all sorted out, and the dust had settled, conflict going forward would be kept at A MINIMUM.
People NOW knew what to expect.
They knew where THEY stood…and WHERE others stood, as well.
They understood too, what was expected of them.
It was over. At least for now. Until the next QUARREL, CLASH, CONTROVERSY, or DISPUTE showed itself…and it was all a part of their growth…a part of their GROUP DYNAMICS.
And the important thing is, they moved ON.
Amen.